Friday, June 09, 2006

Manage!

You’ve always wondered "What the Hell is my apartment manager doing when he's not hounding me about rent, telling me to turn down my music or watching my girlfriend shower through that little hole in the wall?” Well, I am here to tell you. I‘m a manager for a big rental company in South Central LA. I was lured by the free rent, the work from home-ness, and the sheer unadulterated power.

Oh, and the treasure.

I just came from one of our properties where we are doing major renovations. The demo guys cleared the apartments and filled the courtyard with everything the tenants left behind. And what a haul. I just scored two banker’s lamps, three miles of DSL cable and enough shampoo to last me ‘til Christmas.

Different jobs reward different aspects of our humanity. Cops and firemen thrive on the thrill of high risk. Doctors get off on the rush of helping people (and cashing checks). Managing apartments rewards the scavenger instinct. Since most of my tenants are USC students and don’t really understand the value of anything, I clean up. It’s shocking really. I’ve found printers, monitors, televisions, microwaves, telephones and every kind of furniture you can image. IKEA is nice when it’s cheap. It’s the greatest furniture ever when it’s free.

By the way, I found the same kind of shampoo your girlfriend uses. Maybe I’ll stop by when you’re not around.

Punk.

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